Venus and Your Love Language
According to Garry Chapman there are 5 basic love languages- words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch and gift giving. What is a love language you may ask? Well, it’s essentially our preferred, or instinctive way of both giving and receiving love. Love is a human condition, an essential feeling that we all experienced at some point. Love is an exalted, enlightened state, yet it comes as easily as breathing once we can work through all our fear, hurt and anger. We all want to love and feel love. Yet, relationships seem bring up so much confusion and pain. Mostly, it’s because they serve as the greatest mirrors of our shadows. But sometimes, even when a partner, friend or family member loves us deeply, their feelings don’t seem to penetrate our surface. We don’t feel loved by them. Further to this, often we get confused when our loved ones don’t recognise how much we care for them. This is where the love languages become useful.
Often these situations occur because our displays of love are being lost in translation. For instance, you might have a partner who shows their love by giving gifts, helping around the house, showing up to important occasions and always being on time. However, you’re someone who shows and recognises love with verbal praise, long conservations and taking part in shared interests. In this scenario you might feel unloved because your partner is someone of few words, who doesn’t want to go to your dancing class. You’ll feel your verbal praise and exciting communication goes unnoticed as your partner fails to respond appropriately. Simultaneously, your partner may feel their hard work around the house is underappreciated as well as their financial support. They feel hurt and unloved when you’re late to dates and leave the house messy. While you may appreciate their contribution, you won’t see it as love, just as your partner doesn’t see your communication as love, leaving you both sad and confused. That’s not to say, that in the above scenario such problems couldn’t have been worked through. Rather, the point is simply to demonstrate that there is a need to understand your love language, as well as that of your loved ones. This is where Astrology proves very, very useful.
Venus is the planet of love. Most people associate Venus with romantic love, although it is so much more than that. It also signifies our social interaction, art, beauty, femininity, money and pleasure. Most importantly though, it does show both our needs in relationships and the manners in which we express our affection when in love, both the romantic and plutonic kinds. For this reason, it’s not hard to uncover someone’s love language simply by looking at their Venus sign, and if you want more depth it’s house placement and it’s aspects to other planets. It goes without saying that the entire chart will give you the most accurate assessment of someone’s needs and natural expression. In particular, looking at the Moon can be very useful in uncovering emotional needs. However, looking at someone’s Venus can be a quick, simple way to learn a lot more about yourself. Ideally, your loves ones will have their Venus in the same element as yours. This tends to bring an ease to relationships.
People with their Venus in an Air sign (Gemini, Libra or Aquarius) will express their love by taking part in long conversations, flirting and sharing their ideas and ideals with you. They are likely to give you lots of encouragement, praise and show interest in your beliefs and hobbies. They are also very social and might introduce you to their friends and family, helping you to feel welcome in their social circle.
People with their Venus in an Earth sign (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) will show their love by helping you with practical, day-to-day concerns. They will always lend their support, whether that be in the form of physically doing chores or jobs, providing gifts and finances or helping you find solutions to problems. They may not always tell you out loud they love you, but you can always count on them to be there when times get hard. They also tend to be connected to their body, so in romantic relationships they make very sensual lovers.
People with their Venus in a Fire sign (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) will show their love by showing enthusiasm and excitement when they’re around you, surprising you, being playful and encouraging you to reach for your dreams. They are very passionate, and often won’t be shy about it. They can also be very energetic lovers. When they love someone, they invite them into a world of spontaneity, excitement, adventure and fun!
People with their Venus in a Water sign (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) will show their love by being sensitive to your emotional needs, providing emotional support, nurturing and intimacy, revealing their deepest feelings and encouraging you to do to the same. They also tend to give lots of hugs and affection. They almost empathetically tune into your psyche, allowing for a very deep sense of connection. They try to help you feel emotionally safe so you can fully open up, something they need in return.
Obviously, these are general description and the specific sign, as well as aspects and house placement should be taken into consideration for more detail. For more information, look for your specific Venus sign below.
Venus Aries/ 1st House- They tend to be very confident and self-assured in matters of love. This gives them ability to be very open about their feelings, which can be confronting for someone who isn’t accustomed to such directness. Sex is very important to them in romantic relationships and they tend to be passionate, energetic lovers. They have an amazing ability to encourage people, to light a spark in their heart that can send them soaring. However, they have to steer clear of being too harsh, especially with the more sensitive Venus types. Sometimes all people need is for you to listen, to be present and give them hug, rather than a motivational pep talk! These people also have to be careful of being too selfish in relationships. This often arises when they misunderstand their partner’s needs. They don’t really need a lot of reassurance from their loved ways, which means they can sometimes forget that other people have emotional needs! They do have a LOT of energy to devote to relationships and the arts, so you can expect them to make an effort when they really care about you.
Venus in Taurus/ 2nd House- People with their Venus is Taurus will often show their love physically by giving massages and hugs. They are incredibly sensual and feel the most connected to others through touch. This makes them very good lovers. They also love giving and receiving gifts and will often be very generous with their money. They love beautiful things and have a desire for the best quality, which can lead them to make extravagant purchases for the ones they love. They also make excellent hosts and will want people to feel comfortable and welcome in their home, often enjoying cooking and entertaining. Good music, good wine and delicious food are likely to be in generous supply a Venus in Taurus’s home. They generally enjoy the simple pleasures in life and will be upfront and honest in love. They won’t play games and won’t understand people who do. Their needs are actually fairly straight forward, clear and simple, giving their relationships a unique sense of enjoyment. The one thing that is important to them is commitment. They are incredibly committed to the ones they love and expect unfailing loyalty, love and respect in return.
Venus in Gemini/ 3rd House- Talking, talking and a bit more talking- that’s how you’ll know a Venus in Gemini loves you. They will share their interests with you in great detail. It’s not all one sided though, they will also want to know all about you! They love to communicate with the ones they care about. They will share their experiences during the day and ask you how you day was. They will happily talk problems through with you. They may even write you love letters and cards. They’ll also surprise you with their spontaneity and upbeat, fun loving nature. Although, they will need this in return, generally getting bored in romantic relationships that slip into a stale routine or lose passion. They know you care about them when you keep up with their pace, whether that be in a witty conversation or joining them in their favourite activities. In a romantic scenario, you can also expect a lot of flirting!
Venus in Cancer/ 4th House- Someone with their Venus in Cancer is seeking a deep emotional connection. They will nurture you through big hugs and emotional support. They will also endeavour to look after you on a physical level, often by cooking for you and caring for you when you feel sick. They love sharing comfy nights in together, preferring heartfelt simplicity, then big romantic gestures. They don’t need excitement and craziness in a relationship- just love. They like to make people feel safe and secure and will hope for the same in a relationship. They will have a great deal of concern for your wellbeing and emotional state, to the point that they take on your emotions as their own. Sometimes this can feel a bit smothering, especially for those with their Venus in a Fire sign, but they always mean well.
Venus in Leo/ 5th House- Fun, fun, fun- I’m pretty sure that’s the name of a Beach Boy’s song. But I’m going a bit off topic. Someone with their Venus is Leo is all about fun, laughter, excitement and romance in relationships. That means big romantic gestures, a bucket full of jokes and lots of surprises! If a Venus in Leo loves you they will try to bring light and laughter to your life. They want to make you happy! They have open hearts, which means they tend to convey their love with enthusiasm and reckless abandon. But be careful, these Venus Leo’s may look like they have a lot of confidence and they do, but it can be easy to bruise their ego. They don’t like it when people insult them, or even put a damper on their fun. They also have a liking for drama, which can cause problems in relationships when they take things too far. This doesn’t mean they’re not committed though. They can be fiercely loyal and protective of the ones they love. They will have the initiate to stand up for their loved ones and are likely to get really angry if your treat their friends or family with disrespect.
Venus in Virgo/ 6th House- If these people love you, they will do everything in their power to be helpful. They want to make themselves indispensable. They love to feel needed and helpful, however this often comes from an underlying sense of inadequacy and a belief that they don’t really deserve love. This often means they get into situations where people take advantage of them. Once these people have realised they’ve been taken advantage of though, they do generally get very annoyed, although it can take a while until they finally realise a relationship is unbalanced. Once they get past their insecurities, people with their Venus in Virgo are amazing friends and lovers, who are incredibly committed and loving. They are willing to work to keep a relationship going and can be incredibly forgiving, although they are generally very picky when choosing a partner. They have a high priority for hygiene, cleanliness and self-care, both for themselves and their partner. It’s not unusual for a Venus in Virgo to break up a relationship because they don’t like the way their partner eats or their bad breath. They will often show their love physically, whether that be by doing your dishes, ironing your shirt, showing up on time or letting you borrow their car. They can also be quite sexual, although they do tend to be rather unusual and kinky in their desires!
Venus in Libra/ 7th House- Essentially, people with their Venus in Libra are looking for balance in their relationships. They want corporation, harmony and an equal give and take. They will happily help you as much as they can, however they will eventually get annoyed if you can’t reciprocate their kind gestures. They love conversation, discussing their ideas and values and spending quality time together engaged in mutual interests. People with their Venus in Libra will generally really enjoy spending a lot of time with their partner, and need less space than some of the other signs. On another note, they also really enjoy receiving and giving gifts. They have a real appreciation for beauty and art, so gifts like flowers can really appeal. They also enjoy choosing beautiful gifts for others, using their discerning sense of style coupled with their in-depth understanding of their partner or friend.
Venus in Scorpio/ 8th House- These people sometimes have a funny way of showing their love (I’m allowed to say this because this is my placement!). They are fiercely committed to the ones they love, but the intensity of their love can border on obsessive or consuming at times. They love very, very deeply. But their undying insecurity can at times mean they are highly possessive, which can be confusing for those around them. When someone they love hurts them, they also tend to react in ways that are less than graceful. We’ve all heard about the sting of the Scorpion! They might be angry or vengeful, but this all comes from a place of deep pain. It can take a long time for a Venus in Scorpio person to open up to you. This is a protection mechanism, because once they open up, allowing themselves to love, it becomes a fervent kind of love that results in intense commitment. They are unlikely to flirt and hate shallowness of any kind, so don’t be surprised in romantic situations if they don’t convey their interest in ways you expect. You’ll have to tune in on a feeling level, rather than looking for overt signs, to find out whether they are attracted to you. If you’re intuitive this won’t be hard to do. They tend to put out some pretty intense vibes! Venus in Scorpio is not a bad placement. When they love you they will endeavour to create intimacy, allowing you the space and support to share your deepest, truest self. They want to explore your emotional and spiritual landscapes. Scorpio, being associated with sexuality, also means that love and sex are intertwined for these people, making them very passionate lovers when they feel connected to someone.
Venus in Sagittarius/ 9th House- In my description of Venus in Leo I said they’re really fun. And that’s true, but seriously nobody has more fun than Sagittarius (I am incredibly biased in this matter!). When someone has their Venus in Sagittarius they will show their love by being playful, upbeat, spirited, communicative and in a romantic setting, flirtatious. But there is more to the Venus in Sagittarius individual than their fun-loving nature. There is a much deeper side to them, one that wants to help teach and empower people. They’ll always provide an amplitude of encouragement to their loved ones, often prompting them to follow their biggest and wildest dreams. It fact, a Venus in Sagittarius will often be your biggest fan and supporter. They will try to teach you whenever possible, so know their enthusiastic talks on philosophy are actually signs that they care about you! They also love to be active and explore, so don’t be surprised if they invite you mountain climbing or on their next overseas trip. When they love someone they want to invite them into their world of adventure, deep thought, excitement and fun! While they may not be the most committed Venus placement, as their freedom generally takes precedence over everything else, and their blunt honesty can hurt others feelings, they do care about people.
Venus in Capricorn/ 10th House- These people take relationships very seriously. They want relationships that last and are willing to do the work to ensure that their relationships run smoothly. They understand that people aren’t always perfect and will have a realistic perspective on love, rather than holding idealistic beliefs. If they care about you, they will endeavour to help you in practical ways. This might occur in the form of providing financial support or resources, lending a hand with practical tasks and chores and helping solve problems. They are more than willing to shoulder your responsibilities, seeing your problems as their own. They will also respect your boundaries and show patience when problems arise. They can come across as being very cool and reserved with their feelings, and are generally not be inclined to be overly communicative about how they feel. This can be frustrating for some people. However, those that can see past Venus in Capricorn’s reserved exterior will be rewarded with a very committed partner and friend.
Venus in Aquarius/ 11th House- This is an interesting place for Venus, with Aquarius being a very detached sign, associated with wide circles of friends and acquaintances, rather than close relationships. One things for sure, when a Venus is Aquarius loves you, you’re in for an interesting ride. Venus in Aquarius will provide you with plenty of space and freedom, mostly because they need their own freedom and time to pursue their extensive humanitarian interests. This can sometimes be viewed as a lack of commitment to the relationship, however this is not usually the case. In fact, Venus in Aquarius can be very committed. They’ll show their love by sharing their ideas, beliefs, visions and goals. These things are likely to be very important to them. They will also want to know all about your most passionate beliefs and future plans. Exploring common interests through conversation will be something they highly value, especially if the topics discussed our intellectually stimulating. They also put a great deal of trust in those they love. They are unlikely to be possessive or jealous, and may even be comfortable being in a polyamorous or open relationship. If they really care about you, they are also likely to open up and share all their crazy eccentricities, as at times they are inclined to be a bit on the weird side! The great thing about this is they will be very accepting of all your eccentricities, giving you the freedom to be yourself.
Venus in Pisces/ 12th House- This is a beautiful, if not at times painful placement. Pisces is associated with unconditional love and spiritual unity. This gives people with their Venus in Pisces the capacity to love very deeply and feel an incredible amount of compassion. They can love almost anyone and empathise with their condition. This can be frustrating for people who need to feel special, perhaps like a Venus in Leo, when they feel that their loved one gives equal amounts of attention to strangers. But really for the most part, this shouldn’t be an issue because when a Venus in Pisces loves you they will do almost anything for you. They will give and give, physically, emotionally and mentally. If they can help, they’ll want to. This however, can mean that they need to create adequate boundaries. These people are highly romantic too, and sometimes need to have a more realistic vision of relationships. Otherwise, there is a tendency to idolise loved ones.
